September 5th was just a day of recovery..

and today, the 6^th we headed off from Tenko... at last.

Kerim had to nip off somewhere before we left and so I said I’d be by the pool... the owner said as he passed, “one last taste of paradise before you go?”... My mouth just gaped. 

So let me take you on a little trip around Haad Gruad Beach Resort & Spa, which boasts (I quote from the brochure)

• ·         delicious home cooked food,
• ·         spotlessly clean rooms with lots of natural sunlight
• ·         most rooms have a clear ocean view, some on the beach, some surrounded by a natural garden
• ·         fan or air conditioning
• ·         Jacuzzi on the beach
• ·         Wifi and hi speed internet access

And this is what we got.  it doesn't look so bad from the outside, but I couldn't see the sea... or rather I could, if it had washed up underneath my hut, through the hole my foot made when it went through the floor, and the massive gap that was allready there...


Oh, and the hammocks felt like they had been made from razor wire.

This is my "spotlessly clean" bathroom,

 which not only did I share with aforementioned centipede and giant cockroach, but when I got back after full moon my soap had what I can only assume were rat teeth marks in, as they seemed too big for mouse ones.  

As you may be able to see the bathroom mirror is actually one from a moped (which gives an interesting fish-eye effect) held up by a piece of electrical wire which has been twisted through a ventilation brick. 

Kerim’s room had no mirror at all, anywhere, and when he asked for one he was told there was one outside the public toilet if he needed it, about 30 m from his room..On the other side of the restaurant

I had virtually no light in my room at all, the bulbs so dim that even with the curtains open (there were 3 windows but only 2 stained and mouldy curtains) I needed a torch to see into my bag.


The "delicious home cooked food" was patchy at best, with gravy so salty it could have preserved the steak on which it was served for several millennia. 

There was no wifi “because of the humidity”, the computers worked intermittently because the power was intermittent, and this was the Jacuzzi on the beach.

The pool, which was definitely the best feature of the place, was sadly overshadowed by a building site, from which emanated the continuous sound of drills and angle grinders.

Although it was quite nice when the builders sang together.

The beach on the brochure was only there for about 2 hours a day when the tide was in, other wise you had to walk across vast swathes of agonising razor sharp, foot and knee gashing dead grey coral to get to the water.

However all this would have been tolerable if it wasn’t for the horrendous customer service.  It was as if they had worked exceptionally hard to gain some bizarre qualification in appalling management and customer relations.


As mentioned before, 5 sets of people (not just 5 individuals) came to complain about their rooms, having been totally lied to as to what they would be like, and the staff simply shouting back at them. 

When I asked if I could link my laptop to the LAN line for 5 minutes as there was no WIFI, I was refused despite there being no-one on the computer.  When I asked why, the manager said “Why you ask so many questions?”

Most memorable quote from the management when being told the bathroom in the hut was still filthy despite being "cleaned) " (ie they threw in a bucket of water around a bit)  “well if you don’t like it, you can leave”

Also when Kerim said that it must be frustrating for them to be constantly losing power what with the computers and everything he was just told sulkily “No, what pisses me off is constantly having to explain it to the customers”

Kerim does say in their defence that the massage lady was very good as she also bandaged his foot and the manageress said that he was the most handsome man there. So he is biased

However, in support of my argument, the manager "paedo man" or "PM",  with his vile stained teeth, withered frame, bad glasses and unpleasant demeanour and a smile so creepy it would make Garry Glitter feel uncomfortable is reason enough never to go there. (There is absolutely no evidence he was in any way a paedo, he simply looked like he ought to be one).