Wildlife update...

There were 20 cockatooson the deck this morning, and I have also had a possum encounter the night before last, whenone came very close to me to see if I had food,  and there was a kangaroo in the garden last night.

I can't tell you how exciting I find this, thoguh no really marsupial contact so far.

Mellowness in Melbourne at last!

Finally!!! Beautiful weather today, cloudless blue skies and glorious sunshine and so I finally made it to the centre of Melbourne!  (And I had a great late night possum encounter last night where one watched me from a tree for a while, and came quite close to me before getting bored and wandered off)

Firstly I went to an Opal store where the chap in there actually cuts and polishes the opals himself, and creates the doublets and triplets.... fascinating!!  He also keeps a collection of spiders including black widows and the giant huntsman spiders that you get there and a bird-eating spider that he is “taming up”....shudder.   

But he also had a fabulous python and a couple of gorgeous lizards.. The smoother looking one is called a “blue tongue”

Then I went to a place called Sophie Lane... purely because it was right next to Yarra Park.... had to have my photo taken there!

As the Melbourne fringe festival is on at the moment so there is a lot of street theatre going on around the place. 

There were trams.. And tram drivers who are happy to pose for photos and the city itself is really quite beautiful... it is really reminiscent of the Southbank in London, which I like a lot, but also there are some really old Victorian French style houses, as well as some really cool modern ones too.

 

There was a fantastic Dali exhibition on at the national gallery and I got totally immersed in it for 3 hours, leaving me not enough time to get up the Eureka tower to get a great aerial view of the city before I ha to get back to Doncaster to meet Sean, but I took some good shots along the river and arrived in Doncaster just at the right time to catch the sun setting behind the Melbourne skyline.

Chilling in Melbourne

.....in more ways than one.  You can see your breathe here! Inside!

 "4 seasons in one day weather"  in Melbourne?  My arse.  It's just winter!.

  

It’s been lovely staying with Sean and getting to meet and know Gulliver, (hasn’t started school yet, but reads fluently- I’m terribly impressed!) So I have been hanging around Sean’s house which is about an hour out of Melbourne for the last couple for days, as it’s the weekend and the weather’s rubbish.  


However, we have been out... As well as experiencing and getting lost in the most enormous mall yesterday, Sean drove me around some of the countryside where the bushfires were yesterday....to show me how close they came to being consumed by it all, – it seriously was “just over the next hill” and how vast swathes of forest became blackened stumps; 


it was like looking into Mordor....

And then noticing that from some of these black dead looking trees, green was budding, how the forest is once again coming back to life, and how quickly and irrepressibly nature crawls back.  There are still areas which really were totally killed, but by next spring there will be life sprouting there again too.  Out of the charred and blackened remains green is sprouting everywhere... it’s rather emotive and life affirming seeing patches of the freshest brightest green emerging from the deadest looking places!

Today I came with Sean to work, in Doncaster which is still some way out of Melbourne, and I was going to train it in to the city for a walk around but it’s so drizzly and grey and wet and cold that I have decided to stay in the shopping mall where he works..... do a bit of blogging, and catch up with emails and such.  There is a cinema, lots of shops and food (though I had to have a McDonalds to sit here and use their wireless.... but I can always handle a sausage mcmuffin every so often)

I might go and see a film this afternoon...

The second you can see due to good weather I can go and have a cultural tour of Melbourne with pictures and such...honest!  it's so weird though because everything's so new... I've been to pubs older than this country... so  am wonderng apart from the art galleries and botanic gardens what to see, although there is a very tall building with a vertigo inducing glass floored bit that sticks out so you can go and experience that...

I left my lonely planet at home so if anyone has any recommendations of things to go to please let me know.

I'm in Melbourne! And I have NEWS.

Seanie picked me up after my 12 hour bus journey which was one of the most uncomfortable ever - it was freezing in the bus despite the kind lady next to me sharing her blanket with me.... I didnt have the forethought to bring my sarong as an extra cover as you get given blankets as part of the service in Thailand, and the seats recline far more - fancy feeling like you are being spoiled in Thailand compared to a more up to date country here!

Anyway, Sean and Jaks house is so cool - they have Cockatoos, Austrailian King Parrots, Crimson Rosellas, Galaas and Choughs that just hang around wild outside the house and kangaroos hop through the garden!  Had a lovely hot bath when i first got here and i have warmed up nicely... I've even taken off my fleece for the moment!

And of course I got meet Gulliver for the first time!  Here he is dancing and posing for his photo....

Anyway, it's Friday so I get to spend a good weekend with the Hansons... and may well extend my trip here.

When i get back, at the end of October, I will be around for about 2 weeks and then I shall be off to Turkey for a while to stay with Kerim.

The Course I want to do for teacher training doesn't start til September 2010, so I am looking into teaching English somewhere for a the time in-between now and then....  Turkey could be as good a place as any, or possibly a move back to teaching or working for an NGO in Cambodia depending on what happens in Turkey!

Wine Tasting in the Barossa Valley ....hic!

Well this one was a far later start... 9.30, which was really nice to get a lie in and pancakes for breakfast.  Then we were off.

Drove past tons of vineyards before we even got to the Barossa valley, and also tons of reservoirs... water conservation is massively important here - very important to everyone.  Most people conserve and filter their own rainwater from their roofs out in the ‘burbs and use grey water to irrigate etc.  There are signs up everywhere all the time, however this year everything is very green and the reservoirs are very full as there has been an inordinate amount of rainfall this year, and don’t I know it.  It’s hardly stopped.  It makes the locals happy though.

We saw kangaroo creek reservoir, (pictured) which was HUGE, saw the gorgeously named Cuddly Creek, which is populated by tons of the cutest creatures on earth, albino wallabies.. They are about 18” high and white and fluffy... saw one with a Joey poking out of her pouch but couldn’t get a pic in time L. So here's one I stole.

Then we visited a dam holding back anther reservoir which has a weird sound effect where you can stand at one end talk normally and be heard at the other end – it’s so weird... I couldn’t be sure there wasn’t a speaker and a microphone set up it was so loud.

Most of the reservoirs fed into each other so that if one gets too low they can top it up with another.  Most are rainwater fed but some are fed by rivers too.

 

And it’s still bloody cold so in this pic of me by the dam I am wearing literally every piece of clothing I can.  A vest, a long-sleeved t-shirt, a jumper, a fleece and a kaghoul, and a hat and a scarf. (The bus driver was wearing a short sleeved shirt and shorts).  It’s ridiculous.

Anyway, after driving past the hilariously and appropriately named “cockatoo valley”, which contains a caravan park with a strangely high iron wall round it... this was because it’s a nudist colony...so you should see a cockatoo there! (groan!)

Anyway. Vineyards Schminyards.....  WINE.  That’s what was there for and that’s what we got.  Loads actually.   And a superb cup of tea when we stopped for a morning break.  That is my first since I left home 3 months ago as I knew if I had one it would be ultimately disappointing. However they did good tea there.... It was really superb.  How very English to appreciate a cup of tea so much but it was wonderful. despite all the Aussies taking the mick out of me for being a Pommy.

So.  We crossed the actual Jacobs Creek.  "JC" is the biggest wine producer in the area at the moment  - they use young high yielding vines, well irrigated with rain water to produce the biggest fattest grapes and the largest crops.  Major mass production. However they are likely to be overtaken by Wolf Blass fairly soon.

Often grass is grown between the rows of vines as this can be hoed back into the ground to increase the nitrogen levels in the earth and also used as a mulch to keep the moisture in the ground when the weather warms up.

2^nd wine stop Langmeil wines, in Tanunda.(est 1843!)  This was definitely the best of the bunch!

These wines are of German origin - as there were a lot of German settlers in this area of the country apparently. However 60% of the people who you see around here are tourists come for the wine.

These big gnarly vines (left) in these vineyards are really historic; some are over 163 years old!  Though vines this old don’t produce vast quantity of fruit – basically you only get a bottle per vine per year, the quality is amazing as they have very deep roots and absorb more minerals from the soil... these bottles of “Freedom wine” sell for $100 each and are worldwide gold medal winning.

Younger plants produce a lot more fruit but the quality of the wine is less – they have less tannins and therefore have a shorter life and will go off quickly. These smaller vines pictured here are only 14 years old. (Mass produced wine doesn't have as long a shelf life, as grapes are like balloons, the skins stretches as the grape swells, and the tannins are in the skin.  so the bigger the grape the less, life elongating, complexity adding tannins there are and so the shelf life shortens and the wines must be drunk young).

Jacobs Creek produce something like 80 million litres of wine per year, using young plants, irrigating them well to swell the grapes, and using machinery to harvest which is more brutal so the vines have a shorter life.  It would take Langmiel 160 years to produce as much wine from their wines as Jacobs creek produce in a year.

Still look at the size of the barrel store at Langmeil (which smelt glorious by the way!!)

Barrels themselves add a lot to the quality of the wine and each barrel can only be used about 3 times.  They cost about 750 to 1300 Aus.dollars each..So it’s an expensive business!

After seeing the vineyards we did a bit more tasting.  This is the second biggest size of bottle of wine you can get......it was love at first sight..– it holds the equivalent of 36 normal bottles of wine!

By lunchtime (which was also superb - I had roast kangaroo) everyone was quite merry – the Italian, Bruno, was telling us here how much he loved his wife...she's the one he has in the headlock whist he tells her how much he loves her

Lastly we visited Wolf Blass winery and tried some more.... they are fast becoming the biggest wine producer in the area.  They actually bought the piece of road outside their winery from the council as the traffic was stopping them from getting their tankers out! so now the road detours around the Winery!  They also built their own turning lane out the back so that they could  get the tankers and the tourists in.

Anyway after an exhausting days smelling drinking and tasting we headed back....here I am just before I slept soundly on the bus all the way back.

My Wine recommendations: (just a small portion of the ones that I tasted, but my very favourites).

Langmeil 2006 Sparkling Oncenc Cuvee

tastes like granny smith apples! could drink it for breakfast!

Langmiel 2007 Shiraz Viognier Hangin' Snakes

Smells absolutley amazing and tastes soft enough to quaff without food... gorgeous.

Langmeil 2006 Cabernet Sauvignon "The Blacksmith"

Not so amazing on the nose but the taste... wow!  If you can get it, get it.

Langmeil 2006 Shiraz "Orphan Bank"

Absolutely my favourite... just yummy in every possible way but then, by this time I had had rather a lot of wine to taste. ...

Wolf Blass Green label Crisp dry white

(Eco friendly and in plastic recyclable bottle) really fab and refreshing

Wolf Blass Gold Label Coonawarra Late Harvest Riesling

I don't usually like sweet wine but this is absolutely delicious.

Wolf Blass Verae 2009 Limestone coast

This is a mixture of Shiraz and Reisling, lightly sparkling and just gorgeous - the sort of thing you should drink all Saturday out in the sun on a gorgeous summer day but would go equally well with Christmas dinner!  gorgeous. Unfortunately it's so new that it's only available n trial in Australia so hassle your local wine merchant t try and get some imported for Christmas at the very least - you will not regret it!

(I also got to  taste a bottle of the Langmeil  2007 Freedom Wine I mentioned before... but it was pointed out that really needs to be laid down for another couple of months before it's ready  - it was still fabulous!)

Kangaroo island Edited version with more photos and info

even though it rained most of the time.. it was superb.

Well, the day started well, and looked quite sunny.... Got up on time, at 6am (ugh)  took bag to new hostel, got to bus station, and the morning was glorious as we drove past vineyards – some of the biggest in the world.  With green playdoh mountains on one side and rows of vines, with the deep blue sea on the other.  Very pleasant.

According to the bus driver Adelaide was first settled in 1836 and is about a 1 square mile grid system.  It was settled by POMs – People of Means – ie, those who could afford the passage across and the set up costs!

The city contains 5 squares, and 5000 acres of parkland surround the city, watered with grey water to conserve the little resources that they have. Principally the Adelaide economy was originally driven by wine wheat and wool, then later by the production of white goods and now principally by higher education (they have a number of internationally used universities, and they also build submarines and frigates fro the navy.

Mining is also huge and getting bigger – they have large quantities of uranium, gold, copper diamonds, and iron... so the future economy is going to be driven by that!

The weather clouded over as we drove to the fleurieu peninsula where we crossed to Kangaroo Island on the ferry.  Fleurieu used to be a whale hunting centre when it was colonised by the French, (named after the Compte de Fleurieu) until they were ousted by the English settlers. Haha!!!

So.   First stop once we'd got the ferry across was to go and see the native seals in Seal Bay.  We could get up quite close to them - they huddle together for warmth as their coats are not that furry and they do get a bit chilly in the wind. So they are not family groups together simply individuals snuggling up for warmth.

After Lunch the next stop was a real treat (for me anyway being a bit of a bird lover)... we stopped at the Australian Birds of Prey centre.  It was raining so we couldn't see them in flight but this was actually better as we could get right up close and they would fly to you.

This is a Kestrel.. they hover above their prey and dive for them... they actually see in UV so they can see the tracks where mice have gone by their urine marks!

and the Barn owl - his feathers were so soft and he went and sat on everyone's lap to let them stroke him....Did you know that Barn owls have asymmetrical ears, so that they hear in 3D too...?  they are set a little like a yin-yang sign one higher than the other so that they can hear their prey easily too as they hunt by stealth.  Also that they only see in black and white during the day?  SUCH cool creatures!

Then we met the Barking owl (which is sometimes known as screaming woman owl as their mating call sounds a little like an Aussie woman screaming "Heeeeeeeelp") .  He has amazing yellow eyes, and looks really powerful - huge claws.  watched him eat a whole mouse ( a dead one of course!)

The last bird was a real treat - a Wedge Tailed Eagle.

WOW!  just look at him, what a beast!!!

This extraordinary bird has a six and a half foot wingspan... over 2 metres! And the best thing is i saw two in flight on the way there - magnificent looking things with scarily powerful beaks and talons.  we watched as he ripped a rabbit apart with such ease it was like it was made of candy floss.

After this amazing spectacle, we headed past the Cape de Couedic lighthouse to the "Remarkable rocks"

And they are remarkable!

They are a cluster of granite boulders which have been sculpted by the sea and the wind and the rain, sitting on a massive granite mound which seems to have emerged from the sea that surges around the base of it, on a stunning coastline, and surrounded by weird flora that is a myriad of colours and textures.  I felt like my eyes just couldn't take it all in..... no one else seemed that impressed and i wondered if I was having some kind of acid flashback... but look!!  They really are amazing!  and the coastline....

Here I am being impressed by the rocks:

Groovy  aren't they!

Anyway then it was time to move on to see the New Zealand Fur seals frolicking in the water under the unbelievably jaw dropping Admirals Arch...   a giant arch cut beneath the granite rocks by the sea......get a load of this ... though the pics not that good and it's hard to see the seals at first as they are so well camouflaged against the rocks I think this gives a good idea of just how amazing it was to see!.

 but the best bit was a WHALE!  I saw him as I was climbing back up from looking underneath the the arch PHoooooof out a big spout of water and his tail go back in ..I was completely entranced, waiting for him to surface again.  I have never seen one in real life before and it was SO exciting....even though he was probably about a mile away and i couldn't possibly catch him on film.  Had to be dragged back to the bus!

Long trip back too - didn't arrive back to my hostel til 11pm!

Blizzard of Oz

Well, it's not a blizzard, but it's really cold :(. thundering and raining, and I'm cold in my jumper fleece and kaghoul.  Can't think why I left Thailand for this - I may as well be in Hemel Hempstead for all the scenery and cultural content i've seen so far... though the people are al REALLY nice and helpful..

My flight from Bangkok to Singapore was cancelled,  but this meant I could spend more time with Kerim until the next flight was available, which was nice even if we had to spend the time hanging around Bangkok airport,  and I was still able to catch the connecting flight to Adelaide.

The hostel is horrible though and smells of mens feet in the mixed dorm (shuddder) that i am staying in and i am moving to a nicer one tomorrow with just girls in..

Have booked a tour of Kangaroo island (or KI as they call it here) and another wine tasting,  in the Barossa valley.  Yaaaay!!! :)

then, as the weather is so shit I'll just get the train or bus to Melbourne and hire a car to see the great ocean road on a nice day when i get there.  it will work out cheaper that way too..

so Seanie - i'll be there in a few days ....hurrah.

Am also already looking at flights to Istanbul for when i get back!
Dammit.  the only place with wifi here is mcdonalds. and i've fnished my chips and nearly run down my battery, so i spose i'd better post this and go.... but there's a cold monsoon outside and i am loathe to walk out in it even with my waterproofs!

I want to go back to Thailand.

**Skankle update***

Well, they are not really skankles any more!  Hurrah!!!  Only one leg looks bad where I fell down the stairs, and the rest look fairly tanned despite my calves un-erring ability to reflect light rather than absorb it....

Finally!

Bangkok again

WEll, it's almost 2am and I've just arrived in Bangkok, (bus was late of course) and checked in to my hotel (they waited up which was nice)... but realised i wasnt at all tired, haivng slept alot on the bus and had to be immediately alert as soon as I arrived as it's really busy and intense as soon as you get off the bus and have to reclaim all your belongings on the street whilst negotiating the huge mob of tuk-tuks and taxi drivers that want to take you to places.

So I have come back out on to Khao San for a beer and a cigarette, and a fix of the Khao San experience and now I've spied a computer, a bit of a blog until I feel I can go back to bed more easily.

Kerim should arrive tomorrow about midday so I don't want to be tired then so I won't stay up for much longer.

Trip was largely uneventful and unusually easy, the weather utterly beautiful the whole way as the catamaran scudded over the bluest sparkliest sea ever all the way across from the islands making it even sadder to leave.... that part of the world truly is the most beautiful I have ever seen. I am already sure that I need to get back there as soon as I possibly can!

So goodnight, Sibaidi ca!

Goodbye Ko Phagnan

I feel like I have only just got here and I have to go :(  There is so much to miss, from the total peace, the  scenery, the general "scene",  to the people and of course the local wildlife.  I found a TOAD in my wardrobe this morning when I was packing and a REALLY big gecko about a foot long, last night sitting above my bed....being noisy.

I'm now in an internet cafe having taken a long-tail boat to Had Rin (sad goodbye to the beach) to wait for the taxi to take me to the catamaran boat that will take me to the Bus which will take me to Bangkok by about midnight tonight.

Talking of the wildlife again, I had asssumed yesterday's spontaneous live floor show had somehow made a less profound and shocking  impression on the others on the beach than it had on me... however when the group of aforementioned dogs ran playfully over the beach again yesteday there was an audible intake of breathe from those around me and there arose a loud and plaintive cry from behind me of "PLEASE God NO!!!! Please don't let them fuck again.....".   Laughed til I wept again.

It's ragingly hot today and I have a slight hangover (DAMN that Chang beer) so hopefully I will be able to sleep on the bus; I have my annoying inflateable neck cushion at the ready.  The neck cushion is not annoyng to me, you understand, I love it, but I have in the past felt irrationally irritated by other people that have them, as, lets be honest, they do make you look like an idiot using them.... but damn! They are reallly good!

I am pretty sure I am incurring suppressed anger from fellow travellers as I smugly insert my earplugs as well.  (These really ARE a godsend as on most modes of transport out here,  the air conditioning alone can be deafeneing and that's before you add compulsory beeping of the horn every 30 seconds and the rattling of the loose bits of vehicle that aren't gaffa taped on properly as they negiotiate the bumpy roads.)

Onwards. Back to Bangkok!

As it's my last day in Paradise

I think I shall probably go for a cocktail or a massage now I kind of feel i'm back on with the blog, Maybe will do some more editing of the last 2 weeks later.... I keep remembering things I should have put in.Like watching an entire ant colony migrate whilst we ate dinner ... thousands .. millions of them passing us by, using the bamboo banister as a double  decker super highway on their epic journey to move their entire city to an unknown place.... stuff like that.


These last three weeks where I have literally been bumming around and not doing much have been fantastic... but it took me about 2.5 months to settle down and relax, before that I seemed to need to DO lots and see things, but here, here you just can’t. It’s just too lovely to leave the beach, why would you want to?

In 3 days time I shall be in Australia, which I imagine will be another massive culture shock!   Just as I have become totally at home in SE Asia.  And Oz is not going to be walk in the park as I have, as they say, a long way to go and a short time to get there as I want to spend some time with Sean... and then it’s on to Sydney and then NZ after that!

Tell you what, though, I am looking forward to, (though not as much as I was at the start of the travels)  is wine!  Some good ozzy wine...mmmm.  there is no wine in SE Asia... well it’s wine Jim, but not as we know it.  It’s really expensive and tastes like something someone’s dared you to drink.

Had my last swim on the glorious calm sea today... seeming all the more delicious because I knew it was the last, the water was the perfect temperature, and extra sparkly for me.  No sea flies stung me and it was so hard to leave....  frankly if i wasn't meeting Kerim in Bangkok, I'd stay here another month.. perhaps I'd never leave like Michael the mad californian Hippy.(he spends most of his day going round massaging women on the beach)

Jeremy Kyle vs Gay Dog Porn

I have been trying to settle back down into a routine blogging about all the exciting things i'm doing but i realised that i haven't really been doing anything for the last 2 weeks but fasting, colonic irrigation and chatting then a lot of sitting or lying on the beach, occasional massage, dancing, drinking and chatting...swimming.... that's about it, which has been wonderful.but every time i go to pen to paper my mind wanders a little.  I realised I'd better think of a new angle and a snappy headline to drag readers attention back, in case they had waned in the lack of interesting input.

The only traffic I can hear is the occasional long-tail boat, that can take you to Had rin.  and the odd jet ski.  nothing happens except meetng people, hanging out, relaxing, eating and partying. Things are so different here.  or rather as they say here, same same but different.

In fact, since the stay at Tenko, this beach has been so perfect that i decided to try and get an unbiased opinion, So I canvassed around the people I met yesterday on the beach and asked them for their biggest complaint about staying here, and asked them to agree on the 10 worst

1)      Yesterday, someone had a small fly fly into his papaya juice when he still had ¼ of a glass left.
2)      It was generally agreed that you do get quite a lot of sand between your toes
3)      And also in your bellybutton
4)      Sometimes the palm trees swish a little too loudly at night so you cant quite hear the sea properly
5)         really really buff tanned muscular young men playing volleyball sometimes interfere with the view of the turquoise sea and soft white sand and blue sky
6)      People are too friendly
7)      Sometimes, if the waiter’s busy you have to walk 10 metres to the bar.
8)      Once in every 10 times that you go into the sea, the sea isn’t exactly the perfect temperature for a few seconds
9)      Ice cream headaches
10)   Gay dog porn on the beach

So there you are.  There’s all the negative stuff.  Otherwise it’s just about the best and most beautiful place ever. If you are here for more than a week you know loads of people,.... to the extent that people actually gossip about each other because they all know each other. Food is good, accommodation cheap nice and clean, service tolerant, laid back, and friendly. I am lying in a hammock on my shaded bungalow balcony out of the heat of the midday sun, writing on my laptop, and glimpsing the sea between the palms.

You may have noticed an eroneous inclusion in the list above.... and here is why.  Thinking of the similarities betwen here and home, there is on fact something we do have in common.  For example, we have similar styles of daytime entertainment.

Yesterday I was sitting on the relatively busy beach..(by busy I mean there were about 30-40 people on the whole beach today, rather than 10-20, none but 4 of them were actually busy doing anything but lying in the sun, or chatting a drinking beer, and those 4 were playing Frisbee) when we were witness to a surprise floor show by the local dogs.

Two male dogs of the 4 or 5 that live on and around the beach started having sex. Urgently and tenaciously

.

It suddenly seemed to me as if someone had lowered a giant screen into place on the beach and started playing an episode of Jeremy Kyle Show! I swear it had all the relevant elements.

Immediate headline hits you.....smack, two gay dogs having sex.  First you almost try and ignore it,  then it’s suddenly difficult to tear your eyes away as you swing from surprise, shame and fascination, to a disgusted sense of embarrassment with yourself that you are watching it, and then a  kind of despairing dirty hilarity;  I looked round and everyone on the beach was glued! 

There was a lot of vocal audience participation, shouts of encouragement, derision and the odd “get a room” as they were then joined by a second couple, this time hetero dogs! After a few minutes of this action, which as an audience we were strangely powerless to stop or stop watching, we watched agog as another male dog tried to join the action with hetero couple. There was a tense growly stand off between the two male dogs and then some locals stepped in to separate them with brooms.

.

Uneasy peace was made before finally the three straight dogs all headed offstage together happily however the two gay ones remained unfortunately locked together, as dogs do, finally ending up standing bum to bum. They had to stand there looking slightly uncomfortable and unquestionably radiating embarrassment,  for about 15 minutes, looking at their feet and not at the audience, until they were finally able to slip apart, again to hearty applause from the crowd.

So .....Jeremy Kyle Show vs Gay Dog Porn?  Hmm.  Same basic format....yes.   Same dirty feeling from having watched it.....yes. Participants have around the same IQ......yes.  .  Same critical tolerance point before having to stop watching.... yes, approximately.  Same level of informative, life changing substance....yes.  The only difference being that you didn’t actually need Jeremy Kyle for the dog show.

Yes, my conclusion is that there is no virtually difference between Jeremy Kyle and Gay dog porn, as it contained most of the key factors, except that gay dog porn is probably more child friendly, and more likely to give them a realistic view of the world, and you’d never have to see Jeremy Kyle ever again.

Perhaps i should send this in as a review to ITV...